Wedding Gifts

Question: How do i give my wedding gifts to charity and thank the gift-giver?

(Posted by: Nick_D on 2009-08-28 10:43:32)

My wedding was 2 weeks ago. We had mentioned in the invitation cards the following: & quot;Please let your good wishes or donations to your favorite charity be your only gifts to us& quot;. Some guests honored our request. Others brought gifts (cash/ gift cards/ boxed gifts) anyways which we accepted because we thought it would be rude to turn away their gifts. I want to find a way to route all the gifts to charitable causes. We are going to donate all the cash/ cheques. I am not sure what to do with the gift cards. Most of the boxed gift dont have receipts so not sure what to do with them (any ideas?). And how should I word my thank you notes to those who gave gifts inspite of our request not to? I want to let them know that we gave their cash/ gift to charity. One more thing: Some of the gifts dont have a & #039;from& #039; label. So that means someone gave gifts but we dont know who. How do I tactfully word thank you notes when I do not know whether this person gave a gift or not? Thank you very much for all suggestions!

Posted by: Gary C on 2009-08-28, 10:59:16

To take the last question first, if you don 't know who gave you something, you can 't thank them for it. So don 't try. Once someone has given you a gift, you are free to do as you like with it. Both money and gift cards can be donated to charities. Other gifts can also be given to groups that help needy people. The gift cards can usually be converted to cash, if you don 't find a charitable organization that wants to accept them. It is proper to thank people for their gifts. I would just say something like, "Thank you for your generous gift. It was very kind of you to think of us. " You don 't have to tell them what you 're doing with the gift. And now is not the time to scold them for not following the instructions you put in the invitation.

Posted by: apgarian on 2009-08-28, 11:13:47

When I ask for something for my birthday and I get something other than what I asked for I accept the surprise gifts and make the best of it. You wanted all humanitarian gifts, but some people gave you material things. It is common for people to want to give a new couple something useful and awesome to build a nest with. It sounds like people know that you wanted donations, but they purposefully decided they wanted to get you something for you and your spouse to enjoy. Just because people didn 't get you exactly what you wanted for your wedding, doesn 't mean you need to iterate that fact. Etiquette-wise, my advise is to graciously accept all gifts and thank people for their generosity. Do not explain that you had to liquidate their gifts into donations. It sounds bratty and ungrateful to let people know that their gift didn 't follow the guidelines. Sanity-wise, loosen up about this whole donations-only approach to receiving gifts. I like the idea of encouraging donations rather than increasing the whole consumer wasteful spending whilst helping those in need. But it should be loosely applied. If people choose not to play by your rules, no need to make it right. Have fun with it. No biggy. Just people loving other people and buying lavish, sometimes superfluous, sometimes inane wedding gifts.

Posted by: Gary L on 2009-08-28, 11:22:50

To those from whom you received a gift with a card, and without word-smithing for you, try: Your thoughtfulness is most appreciated and to spread your wonderful wishes even further we are donating your (name the gift) and all other gifts to (name the charity). We are blessed with more than we can ever count. By our passing on our blessings in the form of this wonderful gift, (name of new husband) and I will feel doubly blessed. Thank you again and thanks for allowing us to share. To those from whom you don 't know if they sent a gift or not, be as expressive as above but mention how their presence (not presents) and that of all the guests was the best part of the wedding day. All extra tokens of the day are going to (name the charity) as we had said we would do, and your names will all be mentioned in our charity communique.